The Sum of our Mistakes

"We are more than the sum of our past mistakes,
We are more than the problems we create,
We are more than the choices that we've made."
                                               -Tenth Avenue North

I like poems and quotes. I'll probably start most entries with some. Anyways, to my point for today.

    I've done a alot of stupid things in my life. Yet, for all that I have done, I'm not sure I would undo any of it. Life is one big learning experience, and you can't spend each day refecting upon the past and and wondering "what might have been." If that happens, one can never move on.
    I had someone ask for my forgiveness the other day. This someone had wronged me long ago--and I had long since given up hope that there would be any sort of apology made. Hurtful things had been done on both sides, and life had helped us drift away from one another. It seemed to be done and buried in the past. It still hurt to look back and relect upon, but there was nothing to be done. There is no "restart" or "continue" button on life. You simply move on.
   Yet, suddenly, this person wanted my forgiveness. All those feelings of bitterness came flooding back. I then realized that it had been holding me back. It had affected my feelings about myself, and my trust in other people.
    I could go on and on, but really I came to the realization that I needed to forgive myself. I granted this person my forgiveness. They didn't deserve my grudge when they clearly only wanted to move on. I could not hold them back. This should be true with everyone. Life cannot go back, only forward. A person learns and builds upon that foundation. We all make mistakes, and should not be defined by them.
   Truthfully, the only time a mistake decides who were are is when we let it. People will wrong you. That is a sad fact of life. Your best friend may say something stupid; your coworker might be unintentionally condescending--or your little brother will mock those things you are most self-conscious about. It is human to err. We cannot expect more of other people than we do of ourselves.
   Moral of the story: forgive others, and forgive yourself. If you let the one mistake you made define you, then it becomes a whole lifetime of a mistake, instead of just a moment.
   I will leave you there. I had intended to have some wry posts, rather than just sentimental ones, but I really appreciated this person asking for my forgiveness, probably more than they know. It has allowed me to move on. We all should give forgiveness, and apologize often. Pride should not come in the way of doing what's right.
   That's the road less traveled by for tonight. Forgive. Even yourself. -Lola