Even Darkness Must Pass

Sam: "It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something."

Frodo: "What are we holding onto, Sam?"

Sam: "That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."


This is one of my favorite scenes out of all the movies I have ever watched. In light of recent, horrifying events, I felt it was fitting. I cannot, and will never believe that evil will triumph over good; that darkness will swallow the light. There is good in this world that can and will always counteract the evil.
Yet, it is so hard to fathom why a person could murder children. What pushes someone to such a point that they become the embodiment of evil? I will not, and cannot, profess to have an answer to that. But I do know, with every fiber of my being, that those who commit evil will reap what they sow. I do not hate them. I refuse to give such people even that honor. I will move on, knowing that the storm will pass, and though the world will never be the same, (and it must never be!) the light will once again shine through the clouds.
I am not saying we will forget. We must never forget. Let the names of those children be written upon the hearts of all. But we cannot allow it make us bitter--to frighten us to the point where we cannot live our lives. What happened in Connecticut is undoubtedly horrific, but if we allow it to frighten us so much that we stop having faith, that we stop learning and growing out of fear of what may happen, then that is the moment that darkness will have won. Darkness is simply the absence of light, it is not a entity in and of itself--it is just the absence of the sun's rays, and faith and goodness.
I won't preach, and I won't remain long on my soapbox. I will not impose my religion upon anyone, and I refuse to begin an argument about stricter, or more relaxed gun laws. This post is to be uplifting: a reminder that the sun will rise, and banish the darkness.
I am a history major, and I admit that there are times that the things I study haunt me. The pictures I see, the stories I hear; there are times I wonder why a God could let such evil occur in the world around us. Yet, at the same time, what I see only enforces my faith. We are given our agency, and there are those who use it for good--and others for ill. I will not blame God for the things that occur. This is evil in this world. It is, and has long been, a fact of life. From the moment Cain murdered Abel, to the genocide in Rwanda, the massacre at Nanjing, the bombing of the Twin Towers, and even to an elementary school in Connecticut, evil lurks in our world. Darkness exists; but even shadows flee when they see light.
I chose to study history so that such terrible instances may never occur again. I want to teach others what happened so in the future it may be avoided. But I am not so naive to believe that the darkness lurking in some hearts will be eradicated. I know some day it will be, but for now we can only fight it the best way we know how. Remember the names of the victims; Morgan Freeman gave a wonderful speech on how we must live on for the victims and remember them--not the murderer. Live on for the good in the world, as Sam said in the aforementioned piece. There is so much light and joy in this world, and though bad things happen it doesn't mean that it negates the good. I will never believe that evil will triumph over good, not as long as there are people out there willing to try and make a difference.
The darkest night is always just before the dawn. Never let the dark recesses of the world suck you in and make you bitter. Remember there is good in this world. The sun will always rise; and though you refuse to let the darkness scare you--always remember the things it taught you:

"There's some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for."

-Lola

How to Offend Your Clerk in Five Syllables or Less

     I have an interesting job. There's no ifs, ands or maybes about that--and don't get me wrong, I love it. However, there are those days when I find myself completely exasperated by the world around me. Such is true in pretty much every job. So, just so you readers out there know what to AVOID, here are ten ways to irritate your clerk, in five syllables or less (maybe more on some of these things, haha)... though sometimes you don't have to talk AT ALL.
 (For the record, these are not in any particular order)

     Numero uno: I am not a psychiatrist. Or a bartender. I'm not paid to hear your life story--and frankly, I don't wanna hear about the illegal things you've done. I don't want to testify.

     2: Don't lie to me. If you tell me that you desperately need money for baby formula when I can see you drive a two-seater car with no car seat--I'll either think you're a really bad parent or I'll smell a lie.

     3. Do NOT ignore me because you'd rather one of the guys help you. I am just as capable as they are. Just because I'm female, doesn't mean I'm stupid.

    4. I'm not your "honey," "baby," "sugar," or "sweetheart," and no, I'm not going to give you more money because you're calling me those things.

     5. If you come in and try to buy my jeweler's scale because it weighs in GRAMS, I'm going to know exactly what you are using it for. No I'm not going to sell it to you.

    6. No I'm not going to give you a discount on a new item. It's new! Would you ask Wal-Mart for  a discount on milk?
**Sometimes we do discounts, because we are nice like that, but you shouldn't rudely demand it!

   7. If I quote you a price, as politely as I can, please don't give me a blank stare and rudely ask: "Are you serious?" No, I'm actually kidding. I just wanted to see your reaction. (Thought with heavy sarcasm and imaginary eye rolling). Yes of course I'm serious. I'm only obnoxious when there isn't chance of me losing my job.

8. Why yes, I am old enough to sell guns. No, I'm not fourteen--and no, I don't want to hang out after work.

9. I work with mostly guys. Go ahead. Yell at me. I dare you.

10. And lastly, please don't tell me you have scrap gold you want to sell then drop Grandma's teeth in my hand. I'm willing to take the gold--but please put in in a baggy...and don't tell me in graphic detail how you got it.

My job really is unique, and I have met many wonderful people through it. These are just a few experiences that I look back upon now and smile, though at the time they can be quite exasperating.
Choose a road, and job, that will keep you laughing.
                                                                                                    -Lola

Lessons Learned

     "I'm thankful for every break in my heart; I'm grateful, for every start. Some pages turned, some bridges burned--but there were, lessons learned."
                                                                               -Carrie Underwood

     I hope you will all indulge me tonight as I do some self-reflecting. Lately I have dwelled very much on the decisions I have made in my life. Decisions, I think, will be the focus of my post tonight.
    I am not perfect. I am far from it. In example, if perfection is the sun then I'm sitting somewhere out past Pluto. :) Haha. In all seriousness though, I suppose tonight I write in a search for redemption as my thoughts turn to the past chapters of my life.
    I owe many apologies to many whose lives have brushed with my own. I feel as though I went from the girl who said nothing, to the woman who's tongue works much faster than her brain. I have been ill-tempered and said many things towards--and about--many who do not deserve it--and I hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I have done things I should not have. My actions have not always conveyed my deep convictions, which I deeply regret. Despite the wrongs that may have been done towards me, I know there are many situations I could have handled much differently. But, hindsight is always 20/20. In short: I'm sorry. There were many times I felt like I was making the right decision, and I will not apologize for that--but I don't hate anyone and hope the same is true towards me.
    I will refrain from indulging in my own misery, for I am not a miserable person and have no desire to become one--and I know that none of you purchased tickets to my pity-party. ;) So as I close the tattered chapters of my life that have haunted me--as we all must at some point in our lives--and move forward, I hope that I can become a better person. Perhaps with a little divine intervention, I will. :)
    I began with a quote from a song that has seemed to be a bit of a theme for my life. I've broke a heart or two, and have had to patch up my own just as many times. Life is a continual learning experience, even if we don't always figure out the lesson right away--and I am grateful for every break in my heart. There are certainly aspects of my life that I would do over, but not if I had to give up the lesson that I learned. The decisions I have made, both for good and ill, have shaped the person I am today.
   I couldn't sleep the other night, so I laid there and thought about all the different directions my life could have taken. I thought of the way I wanted it to go--and surprisingly--I found that I was very grateful that the Lord did not allow me to choose that road. At the time, I was certain it was what I wanted, yet now there is so much more before me. I'm not saying I would have been unhappy with any of the paths that I thought I wanted. I'm certain that with a good attitude and a little faith that it all would have turned out very well--but I now see that despite all the detours I have taken, I am right where I need to be. I am making decisions that I previously did not think I would have to make, but I am grateful that I am here. In short, all the decisions I have made, whether good or bad, have led me right to this very spot, and I'm pretty sure this is where I need to be. I'm not sure why yet, but I am quite eager to see where it leads me. I am certainly much more cautious about certain things, but I am also ready to make decisions I was previously too frightened to make.
    I am determined to be a better person, though I realize that I am imperfect. I will try to never be angry, for I know how it feels to have someone angry at me. I am determined never to yell, for I cringe at the sound of raised voices. I am determined to do good in all things, knowing the weight that guilt carries. I will mess up I am sure, but I will do the best I can and learn from each failure.

    To get to the point I am making, do not let the colors of your sins define who you are. Make decisions that you feel are best. Apologize when you hurt someone, but never change your mind because someone else doesn't like what you are doing. Learn to forgive yourself, because everyone makes mistakes. Become the person you want to be, because in the end, it is only between you and God.

Everyone is imperfect. We each are fighting battles that no one else can really comprehend. We should not judge, though I admit I am as guilty as anyone of doing so. But if we all tried a little harder to be a little better, the world would improve that much more. It is our decisions that help define who we are. We need to take those chances; assist that change. We are more than the sum of our past mistakes, and it is never took late for redemption. The next chapter is clean and ready to written--and you are the author (with a little help from the Man Upstairs.) And how grateful we should be for that help. I know I am.

This post has turned out to be much longer than I orginally thought, so I leave with one of my absolute favorite poems. I ask that you particularly note the last stanza.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

                      -Mother Teresa

 

Take that road that scares you; that decision you know you should make but are too frightened to do so. Forgive those in your past, and move forward. Do good to those who can do nothing for you--because you can still do something for them. Forge your own path.

 

                                                                                            -Lola

Blind Leading the Blind

     "Just when you think it can't get any worse--it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."
                                                                                             -Nicholas Sparks

     I haven't blogged in awhile. But after a particularly rough evening I decided I would. Let me explain the title of this blog first I suppose.
     We have this kitten. Her name is Matilda. She was born a little over three weeks ago. Right after she was born, she became very sick. Of her five siblings, only her and one brother survived. Now her brother recovered fine, and is nearly three times her size, but Matilda wasn't so lucky. The disease spread to her eyes, and infection claimed one of them. She only has one full eye, and the infection is working to take it as well. Because she was so sick, her mother abandoned her. Not one to let a poor kitten die, I began bottle-feeding it. Everyday my mother or I clean her face and feed her. At first she was very sluggish and it was clear that she would starve before infection could take her. But after a couple weeks of bottle-feeding, the difference is clear.
     Now, I was feeding her tonight, just going through the motions, kind of taking note that she was eating twice as much as usual, which was a good sign. Meanwhile I was moping, trying to figure out several things that are stressing me. I grabbed a rag and began to clean her eyes. She never likes it when I do that, but it had to be done. After several minutes of squirming and mewing, I stopped and let her go. She paused on my lap, and with a few excited glances around the room, she looked up an me--and focused upon my face with an eye that clearly had full vision. Now, I won't profess to be able to read cat emotions, but she looked very happy, and extrememly excited.
    Back to the quote, Matida has taught me the validity of what Sparks said. We all feared she would die, yet she fought on and things became better. Things might get worse first, but they always get better.
     Now I'm still slightly stressed. Such is the life of a college student, but I have faith now that things can get better. My kitten might only have one eye, but she was clearly grateful for the one she still has. Life is hard, but it makes you that much more grateful for the blessings one does have. So be grateful. We may not see the whole staircase, but we have to take that first step anyways.

     Take that step. Follow that road. -Lola

Thoughts on Me

     "What are we? Well we are but two hands to give service; two feet to forge our own path, and a heart to give to whomever we choose. We are masters of our own destiny, and who we are is the sum of whatever we choose to do with what we're given."

     I came to realization today that I never gave myself much of an introduction, I sort of just launched right into the whole "blogging" thing. That being said, I've decided to give this whole "tell us about yourself" thing a try.
    Like many people, I have two hands, two feet and one heart. Aside from a condition called Congenital Mirror Syndrome (Youtube it, it isn't bad) I'm quite normal--perhaps I even balance upon the precipice of being boring. In high school I was the quiet girl, I spent most of my time in the art room. I think most people thought I was either shy or stuck up. Really I'm just shy. In college I'm much the same. I keep good grades, I made it on the Dean's list, and I stay out of trouble. I have my small group of friends and my family that I love very much. Outside of the classroom I'm a Pawnbroker, a big sister and a girlfriend. Oh but I am much more than that.
     I am an artist. I love to paint and draw. I also spend many late evenings writing. I have two novels going, with another three swirling around my brain. I may never get published, but I love it all the same. On top of all that, I'm very opinionated--I just don't say half of what I'm thinking.
     That is why I started this blog, to give people a glimpse into my mind. I don't express myself well when talking to others, which is why I prefer to draw or write. So enjoy, give me some feedback.

     My name is not Lola, as many of you know. But I was given it affectionately by a coworker who said I reminded him of the spunky and tomboyish Lola Bunny, and I decided that I liked it (believe me, it is much better than some of my other nicknames. ;) ). I am a happy member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and my greatest goal is to one day be married in the temple. My favorite color is purple, and I hate pink. I have a slight milk allergy and I have a strange addiction to pumpkin seeds. I am part-way through earning my bachelor's degree in History with a teaching emphasis. I intend to get a job in secondary education at a high school level once I graduate. I think history is one of the greatest subjects that can be taught, for:
    "Those who cannot remember their past are condemned to repeat it." -George Santayana
Students must understand the mistakes of the past, because they are the future.
    But getting off of my soapbox now...I also have a wonderful boyfriend, and a family that I adore. Hm...haha I'm running out of things to say.
    I locked my keys in my car today. That's the kind of person I am. I can be quite scatterbrained...just as you can see this post is going in all sorts of weird directions. Thankfully I have people who love me and saved the day.
    I find talking about myself to be quite boring. So until I have something more interesting to say, au revoir.

This is my road. Lola

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn

"We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when you find someone who's weirdness is compatible with yours, you fall in mutual weirdness and call it Love." -Dr. Seuss

      I haven't blogged in a while...but with a subtle suggestion/request from a friend I'm going to tackle a huge topic. Love. I must admit...I'm not sure how to start this one.

    We've all heard the fairy tales. It starts with once upon a time and ends with happily ever after.  Prince Charming fights all sort of obstacles to rescue his prince. He'll scale walls, fight dragons, take bullets--all in the name of love. I for one have never been a big believer in fairy tale love, and the damsel-in-distress thing isn't really my forte. But here goes. This is my fairy tale.

   Once upon a time, there was an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life. She had boyfriends; she had good times, she had bad times. Some moments were great--others...not so great. From being cheated on, to choosing to leave a great person; well, there was a little bit of everything. Now, life wasn't bad by any means, but it taught this girl a lesson.

    From one moment to another, bridges are burned and lessons are learned; and simply...falling in love is the greatest feeling in the world.
    Everyone talks about butterflies; that feeling that gathers in the pit of one's stomach. It's one great indication of one falling in love. But how else does one know? Well I don't profess to be a great expert...but I have felt it.

     Love is kind. Not mean. Never yell or be cruel to your significant other, and if in return, treat you with respect, you know they care. It ain't love if it's mean.
     Love is laughter. Have fun. You know you're in love if you're comfortable with someone, and can do pretty much any nerdy thing together simply for the sake of enjoying each other's company.
     Love is the genuine concern for the other's well being. Don't be selfish. Care about your partner. Learn about their likes, dislikes, ambitions and heartaches.
     Love is also trust. I know that I genuinely care about a person when I trust them implicitly. It took years to learn how to trust someone that much after experiencing heartache and liars--and it is so very easy to lose again. So be honest with one another, and trust each other.

    I could go on and on. But if that person treats you well, loves you for who you are, and is willing to scale walls, fight the metaphorical dragons of our day and age, and even take a bullet for you if some psychopath should show up--then don't hesitate to love him. Sometimes two people simply aren't compatible, and that's okay--but never let fear come in between you and love. Prayer and faith can be a powerful too in determining whom one should love.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." -Moulin Rouge

    I cannot express how important love is, just as I cannot adequately say how one knows they are in love, as it is different for every person. But if you can't go more than a day without thinking of that person, if they treat you with respect, talk to you all the time--then odds are that it is love. ;) Don't waste it.

"This is true love, you think this happens everyday?"-The Princess Bride

So once upon a time there was this girl, and after a string of frogs, and Princes too (they just weren't her Prince), she found her Prince Charming. She didn't wait sleeping in a room, he didn't have to revive her with love's true kiss, or rescue her from her evil stepmother. No, she did her part to search for him, and he kept an eye out for her, and with a little bit of the Lord's help...the rest they say, is happily ever after. ;)

   Am I on that road with Prince Charming right now? Haha, well that is just for me to know. Remember to love, for that is the greatest thing that can ever be learned--and have a happily ever after. -Lola

Let Me Direct You to the Doghouse

    Happy Mother's Day folks. Now, if you're a mother and are having a wonderful day, then that's fantastic--and if you're a father/dad/husband who's having an equally good day then kudos. Now, if you're a man and you fantastically screwed up by buying a lowsy present (or forgot completely_, then you are probably gonna spend the next few days in the doghouse. Let me tell you why, so that such pitfalls may be avoided in the future.

 A conversation I had with a very wise man as I watched him purchase a bike for his wife:

Me: "Is it her birthday or something this week? Is that why you're buying that?"
Him: "HEEECCCKKK NO! I would never buy anything for a gift that resembles work or exercise. This is merely a purchase, like buying milk or something."
      Very smart man.

     I have some very interesting conversations with the guys at work, and I've learned alot about men that way. Now men, they see say, a toaster, and think:
 "Man! She's been saying she wants one of these. I'll buy it for mother's day. She'll love it!"
Now...in rare cases, she will love it. But more often than not, she'll see it as a sign that you feel like her place is in the kitchen making you food. Any present that equals work for her in the end is BAD.

Likewise, buying her a gym membership, no matter how much she complains she needs to get into shape is VERY BAD. You'll probably spend a month or so in the doghouse with that one.

     In conclusion, flowers are safe, providing you don't pick up ones that she's allergic too. And you can never go wrong with a heartfelt note, and don't just limit yourself to such signs of affection on mother's day and other superfluous holidays (I think mother's day is a great holiday, I'm merely to refering to Valentine's Day and such.)
     Oh, and don't wait till the last minute to pick your gift--and don't forget (but that should be a no-brainer).
The road to the doghouse is easy to find, but hard to backtrack. Good luck! -Lola

Thoughts on Dating

     "Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him." -David O. Mckay

     In our day and age, the institution of marriage is crumbling. Young adults (and older folks too) get married for all the wrong reasons, just to have it all fall apart within months of saying "I do." So, the very thought of dating, and especially of getting married is terrifying. The fact is that 50% or so of marriages end in divorce. That's a sobering fact.
     I was lucky to have grown up in a house with a strong marriage, and it (among several others) have inspired me. I wanted this blog to reflect the fact that relationships do not have to fail. It all begins with a good dating foundation. My friend has covered most dating tips (see her blog, I follow it!) but I wanted to put in my two cents, mostly from past experiences. Now, I'm not bitter towards any of my past boyfriends or dates, but I do believe there are things to be learned from each.
So here's ten tips, from the perspective of a skeptic-turned-believer:
       Remember this acronym: F.A.L.L.I.N.L.O.V.E.

1. Forgive those who have wronged you. You cannot go into a relationship with bitterness towards your ex. It probably means your current relationship is a vengeful rebound, and that just sets it up for defeat. Remember, you have to be the type of person you'd want to date.

2. Always remember courtesy. Guys, for the first couple dates it's best if you pay for the girl. Once you've been dating awhile then you can split the dates, but be the gentleman at first. It also will not kill you to get her door. I don't think it has to be done all the time, but occasionally it is nice. At least hold the door open in restaurants. In turn, girls, remember to thank the guy. Dates can be really expensive, and it won't kill you to be polite. I also make it a point NOT to order the most expensive item on the menu. You don't have to be an expensive date.

3. Laugh. Laughter is crucial in a relationship. I'm drawn to guys with a sense of humor. Not crude humor, but just simple funny non-conformist humor. I'll watch dorky movies and laugh. I still enjoy a Disney film every now and again. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be a big kid. Go kite flying for a date, or play a video game. Those dates are cheap and fun.
     "All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other."
August Wilson

4. Lust is different than love. Get to know him/her before you kiss them. Every first date is a little different, but I think a kiss should be saved, until you know if you really like them. I'm not one to kiss every guy I meet, and I think that's how it should be. If there's any question about your date being okay with holding hands or something, then just ask.

5. Integrity. Have it; know the definition of it. To have integrity means you are honest. There is nothing worse in the world than being lied to during a relationship. Always be honest and open with one another, and you will have considerably less problems. 

6. Be Nice. Guys be nice to the waiters and waitresses, and especially your date. She's watching you pretty closely. Girls, don't be catty. Don't criticize other women around you. If you do that you just end up coming across as having low self-esteem. 

7. Loyalty is key. If you're going to cheat, don't. Just break up with your significant other if you're so unhappy you have to cheat. I've been cheated on and it sucks. 

8. Open up. I have a friend who suggests you play the "question game" if you hit an awkward point in your date. That means that you poise a question at your date, and they in return come up with one to ask you. Get creative: "Where's one place you'd like to travel and why?" "What was one thing you loved to do growing up?"

9. Have Virtue. I mentioned before being virtuous, but it goes deeper than that. We're all human. I know I've made many mistakes in my life, but we can learn from them. It's a sense of making yourself better, and being clean. When I think of a virtuous man, I think of a man who's conscious of his faults but is doing the best he can--I also think of a man who's loyal, brave and protective. There are virtuous women too: women who are compassionate and giving, amongst many other things.

10. Lastly, there's Eternity. That's my goal. Remember who you are and what you stand for. Our mistakes and choices here are brief, but they have eternal consequences, so make sure you're doing the right thing. I don't believe in the idea of "the one." I think there are many good people out there, and if you find someone you love who shares your ideals and standards, and uplifts you, then you can make it work. It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

You'll find that someone, if you're traveling the right road; and maybe if you feel like you aren't, then you can always turn around. ;) -Lola

"I Need your Cheapest Engagement Ring"

     So the customer said to me. He didn't look like he wanted to be there. He gave me a scowl like it was all my fault that he was being forced to look over the rings. Now, I don't have a problem with people buying a ring from a pawn shop--in fact, I encourage it. Jewelers are way overpriced. What I do have a problem with, is men thinking their girlfriends aren't worth a little bit of money.
     It's one thing to be hard up for money. It's another thing to be cheap. This guy was just cheap. Trust me, after all, I was there.
     So I directed him to our jewelry counter. He directed his ugly scowl at the glass, and growled:
     "Where's the ones under fifty dollars?"
     I gave an inward sigh, tired of this guy's lack of manners, and his obvious distain for getting engaged. I really couldn't understand why he was there at all. Shotgun wedding, pressure from her--who knows. I just happened to be the person he was focusing his frustration at. And I didn't like it.
    It didn't take him long to decide. It was even under his price range, and the right size to boot. He paid for it with the same scowl he'd been wearing all the fifteen minutes it took to find the ring she would supposedly wear the rest of her life. Many marriages nowadays have short life-spans. Sadly.
     So my grumpy soon-to-be-engaged customer left the store, and left me with an feeling of irritation and exasperation over one thing:
  
The lack of chivalry in society today.

    I tell my coworkers all the time, and I'm sure they're tired of hearing it--but I'M tired of seeing my point proven time and time again: Chivarly is dead, and it was probably killed by feminism. Feminism, in the world, with a strong sense of individualism and "I'm-not-helpless." (Sorry, bit of "Clue" humor there).
    Now, I once had to read an extremely boring book about the origins of Chivalry. There really isn't anything glamourous about it, but the underlying ideals were pretty good; be virtuous, considerate, honest, humble, loyal, etc. All great things, and not all those things are gone from society today.
    However, alot of the respect given towards women that traditional Chivary so strongly upheld, has dissipated in modern society. Women are objectified. I cannot stand how media nowadays feels such a strong urge to throw sex and nudity into everything. It's degrading. For a world that supports feminism, it sure allows women to become nothing more than entertainment.
     I'll try not to rant too long on such a subject. All I want, is respect (from men and women) to reappear. It doesn't hurt me to open my own door, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate a guy to do it occasionally. Also, I can probably carry most objects--but a guy offering his help would mean alot. I might not accept all the time, but I would always be grateful for it.
     So men, I'll make you a deal. I'll stop berating you for lack of consideration, if you remember that once in a while, I really do appreciate genuine offers of help and respect. ;)

     So back to my customer: that same guy, wearing the same scowl, came back into my store about five hours after purchasing the ring.
     "She said no," he mumbled, and dropped the ring and receipt into my hand.

     I wonder why. 

So I'm not so foolish as to expect a knight in shining armor. I'm not perfect, and I don't expect any man to be. But I am a daughter of God, and I expect to be treated as such.

Be the bigger man--take that higher road. -Lola

I Worry for Our Future

"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

                                                  --Unknown

  

     People do stupid things. I am guilty of it as well--but there are times when people simply amaze me; (and not in a good way). Ignorance is a major part of society unfortunately. The reason for my rant began with a simple phone call:

    Me: "Hello, how may I help you?"

    Woman calling: "Yeah...(awkward pause) can I talk to one of the guys there about...?"

 (Insert easy-fix problem, what it was is unimportant to the conversation.)

    Me: "I actually can help you with that."

    Her: (With obvious tone of surprise) "Really?"

No, obviously I just say that out of sheer enjoyment of wasting both my time and yours. Eventually this woman let me help her (which I was perfectly capable of doing), but I was quite annoyed by the fact that she felt I was unable to help her due to the fact that I'm female. I'm female, not incompetent! Grr.

    This won't be a very long entry, but I had another incident a few months ago that shocked me. I was at my job, when I overheard a customer exclaim to her friend: "Look, I have a new quarter! It has Washington on it!"

Seriously??????????

    I just recently watched that Youtube video about the lady who tries to figure out how long it will take a person traveling 80 miles per hour to travel 80 miles. It is rather disconcerting to think that that is the direction our country is going in.

     I'm sure I've heard of thousands of other moments of stupidity, but I can't think of any more to write. This rant is quite long enough anyways.

So whatever road you take, don't take the stupid one. Just please don't. -Lola

May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

   “Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when it's morning again, they'll wash away
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you.”
― Suzanne Collins

     From a conversation with my younger brother:

               Me: "Yeah, Peeta is a likable character. You end up rooting for him. But Katniss, she's a lot harder to like. She's rather prickly."

               Him: "Yeah she's just like you."

    A rather humorous anecdote from my daily life, but I really couldn't argue with him. Pehaps the fact that I can relate made Hunger Games memorable for me. I enjoyed the books, (though I am far from obsessed with them) and I was satisfied with the translation of the novel into the movie. A few parts really stood out to me, though I confess that I'm not certain I really have a point that I'm making with this blogpost.

     There are several tragic parts in the novel, but the hardest for me was the Reaping. It brought tears to my eyes. See, Primrose was a skinny, little blonde--and so is my sister. I would have stepped up to take her place just as Katniss did. The cinematography was fantastic for that part. Rue's death was sad as well, but it was the Reaping that tugged at my heart.

     Speaking of Rue's death; there has been much controversy over the violence in the film. However, that is the way the book is written, and it is not violent for the sake of being violent. There is an underlying condemnation of evil, and a hidden warning within the pages of the book (and the movie). Even the Tributes of 1 & 2, though skilled the arts of killing, were only surviving in the best way they knew how. If the threat of death hung over you constantly, you would train to survive as well.

      Maybe it's the fact that I'm a history major, and read too much into such things, but there have been instances of such horrors in the history of the world--and though I don't believe that anything like the Games will ever occur, we must be careful as a society that we never become as desensitized to violence as the people of the Capital were. That is just one of many political warnings the book has to offer.

     The book/film seem to be much more politically-oriented than actual romance media, yet I read a report the other day that said that the Hunger Games was the new Twilight. Seriously? Yeah, it is the newest cult phenomenon, and I'm sure that the actors are going to garner a large pre-teen following that will declare their affections for either Gale or Peeta, but there are several key differences between Peeta and Edward.

    I could Twilight-bash all day long, but I will try my best to refrain to just a few insults. Peeta is not manipulative, controlling, depressing, obsessive, suicidal, and does not boss his girlfriend around (as Edward does). Not to mention the fact that Peeta doesn't sparkle. But anyways, back to my point. Younger girls (though some other women as well) have developed an "Edward-mentality." This basically means that they want their men to be tall, dark and perfect. That is a highly unrealistic thought that sets any relationship up for failure. Peeta (I won't talk much about Gale (as I think Peeta is the better man for Katniss) is a much more "real" character.

    I honestly feel bad for Peeta. He's a guy stuck in a hard spot. I will admit, when I first read the books I was unhappy that Katniss ended up with Peeta; but after reading them a second time, and after watching the movie: my opinion shifted. Peeta realizes he's fighting a losing battle. He knows that Katniss is keeping him alive and pretending to like him because that leaves them with the best chance of survival. Yet, even if they do survive, he won't get the girl. Despite that, he loves her and fights to protect her. If the time comes, and she chooses Gale, he knows he will walk away. But he refuses to do that without a fight, and he won't let her die. Still, he doesn't boss Katniss around, and though she knows she CAN live without him, she comes to realize that she doesn't WANT to. I think that's the mark of a healthy relationship. Katniss was brash, ornery, oft-depressed and undecided, but Peeta balanced her, and ultimately healed her. He loved her despite her damage, and that I think, is a more realistic romance than any other. But one should still never try to model their real life upon reel life.

                  “You don’t forget the face of the person who was your last hope.”  
                                                                                          ― Suzanne Collins

     It was a book probably written for an audience slightly younger than myself, but I think that there are valuable lessons to be learned from Hunger Games. You might disagree with some things I have stated, but I'm really just being honest. If you hadn't read the books then I reccomend them, though I will admit I was disapointed with the ending of Mockingjay.

   Well, I think I have said all that was on my mind. I apologize if this seems a bit rambling, as I'm having difficultly articulating exactly what I want to say. If you read all the way through, then thank you.

  

    Whatever road you end up traveling, "may the odds be ever in your favor." -Lola

              
     

The Sum of our Mistakes

"We are more than the sum of our past mistakes,
We are more than the problems we create,
We are more than the choices that we've made."
                                               -Tenth Avenue North

I like poems and quotes. I'll probably start most entries with some. Anyways, to my point for today.

    I've done a alot of stupid things in my life. Yet, for all that I have done, I'm not sure I would undo any of it. Life is one big learning experience, and you can't spend each day refecting upon the past and and wondering "what might have been." If that happens, one can never move on.
    I had someone ask for my forgiveness the other day. This someone had wronged me long ago--and I had long since given up hope that there would be any sort of apology made. Hurtful things had been done on both sides, and life had helped us drift away from one another. It seemed to be done and buried in the past. It still hurt to look back and relect upon, but there was nothing to be done. There is no "restart" or "continue" button on life. You simply move on.
   Yet, suddenly, this person wanted my forgiveness. All those feelings of bitterness came flooding back. I then realized that it had been holding me back. It had affected my feelings about myself, and my trust in other people.
    I could go on and on, but really I came to the realization that I needed to forgive myself. I granted this person my forgiveness. They didn't deserve my grudge when they clearly only wanted to move on. I could not hold them back. This should be true with everyone. Life cannot go back, only forward. A person learns and builds upon that foundation. We all make mistakes, and should not be defined by them.
   Truthfully, the only time a mistake decides who were are is when we let it. People will wrong you. That is a sad fact of life. Your best friend may say something stupid; your coworker might be unintentionally condescending--or your little brother will mock those things you are most self-conscious about. It is human to err. We cannot expect more of other people than we do of ourselves.
   Moral of the story: forgive others, and forgive yourself. If you let the one mistake you made define you, then it becomes a whole lifetime of a mistake, instead of just a moment.
   I will leave you there. I had intended to have some wry posts, rather than just sentimental ones, but I really appreciated this person asking for my forgiveness, probably more than they know. It has allowed me to move on. We all should give forgiveness, and apologize often. Pride should not come in the way of doing what's right.
   That's the road less traveled by for tonight. Forgive. Even yourself. -Lola

Simple Acts of Kindness

     I wasn't going to do this.
Honestly, unless they're quite humorous, most people will not take the time to read an entire blogpost. But I figure I could use the writing practice, and since I'm pretty shy, most people never hear my opinions. So I'm speaking up. I'll try to be humorous and interesting most of the time, but really the only thing I can promise is that I will be honest.

I'm not quite sure where to begin. Perhaps with a lesson I learned today.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." -Unknown

     Since it's the Sabbath, I'm going to strive to make this a heartfelt message, rather than cynical. I am, unfortunately,  a rather cynical person--which will probably become evident in posts to come.But I won't be today.
      I was at church, 'k, just going through the motions, probably moping about how Spring Break had to end--when something happened.
    Some people barely see past the tip of their own nose, I being one of them. But I met someone today who altered my perceptions of life. How stringent our definitions of beauty are; how much we avoid those things we aren't comfortable with; how fragile life is, yet we disregard it. We cast aside that which is most short and precious. This person had faced death, and now sat facing me. They (I'll use a plural tense to avoid assigning a gender since that's unimportant) smiled and asked how I was. THEY ASKED HOW I WAS! After everything that had occured to them, they were concerned with my well-being.

     Yeah. I realized in that moment how caught up I am in myself. I'm a jerk.

     This I feel, is a fitting way to begin my blogging. I'm still unsure which direction I want to take it, but I will be honest. This person I met today was incredible, and was mostly certainly facing battles much greater than my own. But we, as a whole people, must be kinder. Life is hard in different ways on all factions of life.
     I realize one post cannot change the world, but if one person takes my advice to heart than perhaps I can make someone's day better. My bishop pointed out the kindest thing we can do: Smile. Smile at that person you might otherwise avoid, because that might be the kindest thing anyone has done for them today. Smile at that person you hate, because only love can bridge the chasms of life. Smile when you're sad, because someone surely has it worse.

     Take that Road Less Traveled By, even if you're the only one who does.

Remember to smile. -Lola