I have an interesting job. There's no ifs, ands or maybes about that--and don't get me wrong, I love it. However, there are those days when I find myself completely exasperated by the world around me. Such is true in pretty much every job. So, just so you readers out there know what to AVOID, here are ten ways to irritate your clerk, in five syllables or less (maybe more on some of these things, haha)... though sometimes you don't have to talk AT ALL.
(For the record, these are not in any particular order)
Numero uno: I am not a psychiatrist. Or a bartender. I'm not paid to hear your life story--and frankly, I don't wanna hear about the illegal things you've done. I don't want to testify.
2: Don't lie to me. If you tell me that you desperately need money for baby formula when I can see you drive a two-seater car with no car seat--I'll either think you're a really bad parent or I'll smell a lie.
3. Do NOT ignore me because you'd rather one of the guys help you. I am just as capable as they are. Just because I'm female, doesn't mean I'm stupid.
4. I'm not your "honey," "baby," "sugar," or "sweetheart," and no, I'm not going to give you more money because you're calling me those things.
5. If you come in and try to buy my jeweler's scale because it weighs in GRAMS, I'm going to know exactly what you are using it for. No I'm not going to sell it to you.
6. No I'm not going to give you a discount on a new item. It's new! Would you ask Wal-Mart for a discount on milk?
**Sometimes we do discounts, because we are nice like that, but you shouldn't rudely demand it!
7. If I quote you a price, as politely as I can, please don't give me a blank stare and rudely ask: "Are you serious?" No, I'm actually kidding. I just wanted to see your reaction. (Thought with heavy sarcasm and imaginary eye rolling). Yes of course I'm serious. I'm only obnoxious when there isn't chance of me losing my job.
8. Why yes, I am old enough to sell guns. No, I'm not fourteen--and no, I don't want to hang out after work.
9. I work with mostly guys. Go ahead. Yell at me. I dare you.
10. And lastly, please don't tell me you have scrap gold you want to sell then drop Grandma's teeth in my hand. I'm willing to take the gold--but please put in in a baggy...and don't tell me in graphic detail how you got it.
My job really is unique, and I have met many wonderful people through it. These are just a few experiences that I look back upon now and smile, though at the time they can be quite exasperating.
Choose a road, and job, that will keep you laughing.
-Lola
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